Parenting, Anxiety, and ACEs

Sad woman sitting on leaves disintegrating

Parenting with ACEs doesn’t always require intense therapy. Sometimes all we need is a friend, a conversation, someone to remind us that we will be okay, if not immediately, then eventually.

Expectation vs. Reality

Mother holding child on beach in sunset

Have you seen those funny memes that use photos to demonstrate the difference between how we might expect an activity or career to look and the reality? I have laughed at many. When we adopt, however, I think the contrast is sometimes not so funny. I also think that we make it worse. Because we […]

Surprised by Attachment: Time

picture of roman numeral pocket watch in sand

–by Nicole Pritchard [originally published on the author’s own blog, Coffee-Colored Sofa on March 2, 2017]   This forms part of a series called “Surprised by Attachment.” This subject became a series because I’ve had way too many failures (or, “learning opportunities”) to fit them into one post. I will not make it a weekly series […]

Saying NO When You Feel SO Guilty

paper and marker with yes and no boxes to check or x

Note from the blog manager The “big” holidays are over, but the holiday season is not. Families with children affected by early trauma and attachment disorders still find themselves struggling to maintain structure and connection in the midst of all of the celebrations, which for us may mostly feel like chaos. And that can mean […]

Triggered by the Holidays?

picture of glass ornament with snowflake on blue background

From the blog manager Many of us raising children affected by early trauma and attachment disorders know holiday stress all too well. Even the most well-meaning relatives can inflict additional pain, sometimes because they simply do not understand, other times because they cannot help but judge. Our decisions, our families, our lives, may look very […]

Reaching the Teacher

Scrabble board spelling school and learn

Dear Teacher: I adopted my daughter through foster care. Her birth parents were addicts, and she experienced neglect and abuse in her early years. No one answered  her cries on a regular basis; no one consistent changed her when her diaper was wet or fed her when she got hungry. Because of these experiences, she […]

Christmas Spaghetti

bowl of spaghetti with Christmas Spaghetti written above it

Dinner is served A couple days before Christmas, I make spaghetti sauce. On Christmas afternoon, I move the pot of sauce from our refrigerator to the range and warm it while preparing pasta from a blue box. Matt slices grocery store bread. The tradition of “Christmas Spaghetti” may not be the tradition our kids are […]

The Greatest Christmas Gift

Plate of sugar cookies in the shape of stars and candy canes

A few years ago, my parents flew out from Wisconsin to visit for Christmas. Because they only make it out to California to see us twice a year, and we make it to Wisconsin to visit them even less, it was a pretty big deal. Holidays were hard When we adopted our daughter through foster […]

Christmas Reinvented: The 12 Days of Connection

three young men with Target ad and "family is everything" sign

Relationships or things? Which one are you focusing upon this holiday season? To be honest, my family’s first Christmas 20 years ago was over-stimulating. An emotional roller coaster. My six adopted children unwrapped one gift after another – many from people they hardly knew. The following morning, the drama began. Fighting over each other’s toys […]

Groundhog Day on Thanksgiving

groundhog standing up

The problem? Thanksgiving didn’t feel the same Thanksgiving has always been my favorite holiday. I have a relatively small family and since I wasn’t raised with religion, Thanksgiving was the main holiday where everyone all came together for a festive meal. This gave me a sense of family deep in my heart. I took it […]