How Trauma Disrupts Attachment
Having a healthy attachment to the primary caregiver as a young infant profoundly influences the child’s overall emotional health. When the infant has a need, expresses the need and the need is met by a loving caregiver over and over again, healthy attachment develops. A break in this attachment cycle ( visit Understanding Attachment to learn more) […]
What are Attachment Disorders?
Children who have had breaks from their primary caregiver, unmitigated pain, abuse, neglect or in other ways have not had their needs met can often be impaired in their ability to develop healthy emotional attachments. This is currently called by many names, such as insecure attachment. These less-than-healthy ways of attaching are often not diagnosed as […]
What is healthy attachment?
Healthy attachment starts neurochemically in the womb. An expectant mother, happy about her coming child, takes good care of her health and nutrition, isn’t under chronic stress and stays away from harmful toxins (like drugs and alcohol). So the baby’s brain development is optimal. When the child is born, he is immediately given to his […]
I’m So Strong . . .
by: Julie Beem
“I’m so strong that I could destroy this whole house.” His declaration was matter-of-fact, not launched as a threat but to gauge my response. “Really?” I responded, “why would you want to destroy my house?” “Because I’m powerful enough.”
Letting Go
by: Jane Samuel
She calls me from the spa-sleep-over-birthday-party and I am not surprised. There is a catch in her voice and she is asking me to bring money. I don’t question. I just get in the car and drive to her.
Dos & Don’ts: An Adoptive & Foster Parent’s Letter to Family and Friends
ATN is delighted to include another post from Carol Lozier. Carol, a member of ATN’s Board of Directors, is a clinical social worker in private practice in Louisville, Kentucky. Her website, www.forever-families.com, offers a blog, free downloadable tools for families, an excerpt of her book, and a supportive community of adoptive and foster parents.
By: Carol Lozier
Have you ever noticed that adopted and foster kids are especially cute? Their beautiful eyes, cute noses, and charming smiles often call attention to them and to their family. In the midst of this attention, adoptive and foster parents often hear remarks of how their parenting could be more effective, or possibly that they are expecting too much or too little from their child. Understandably, parents are caught off guard as they are hit with a critical comment, and sometimes are not sure how to address them.
I wrote the following letter, found on page 63 of The Adoptive & Foster Parent Guide, to help families express their needs and requests to their family, friends, church, after school caregivers, teachers, physicians, and others. Parents, please copy and use this letter; share it with your adoptive and fostering friends. Send the letter to any person(s) in your life who may gain a new understanding of how to help you and your family.
BMITW
By: Jane Samuel
Last week I took our middle daughter out of town for four days to attend her close friend’s confirmation – in another country. Despite all her healing I still worried this trip would be too hard on our youngest – now ten-years-old and adopted at one. Luckily for her – and I – she was naïve as to how far away I would be (a long plane flight) and only knew I would be back in “four sleeps.”
Mother’s Day – Batten Down The Hatches!
By: Julie Beem
It’s nearly Mother’s Day. And thanks to retailers, schools, churches, we hear the message of “celebrating your mom” broadcasted from the rooftops. In a normal world, this would be a great thing. Motherhood is truly one of the highest callings. But what about children for whom their first relationship with a mother didn’t go well, didn’t last, produced trauma?
A Therapeutic Top Ten List: Why Therapists Should Incorporate Parents into Therapy Sessions
ATN is delighted to welcome Carol Lozier as a guest voice on Touching Trauma at its Heart. Carol, a member of ATN’s Board of Directors, is a clinical social worker in private practice in Louisville, Kentucky. Her website, www.forever-families.com, offers a blog, free downloadable tools for families, an excerpt of her book, and a supportive community of adoptive and foster parents.
Rules . . .
By: Gari Lister
Experts advise that kids with developmental trauma need calm, stability and predictable limits. And in fact I know my youngest does better when she knows her schedule, and exactly what is expected of her. The problem is that peace, stability and a well-ordered life are not always easy to come by in a household filled with a bunch of poorly behaved dogs and cats, not to mention the children or broken appliances. For that reason, I’m always a little defensive about our organizational dynamics.