by: Sheilah Davidson
Nearly 19 years ago, my husband and I adopted a newborn. It took us years to learn that our beautiful, funny, athletic daughter was affected by the trauma her birthmother experienced while she was pregnant. After many, many therapies and social service interventions as well as endless complaints from teachers, administrators and other parents, the heartbreak of seeing our beloved daughter fail at school after school, including a residential treatment center, we at last discovered the Attachment & Trauma Network, where we found personal support and equally important, resources that helped us to understand the impact of trauma on young children. This understanding has helped me educate others and also to be much less angry and resentful, and more compassionate and understanding. I’ve learned what does (and doesn’t) work in regulating my own emotions and helping her to regulate hers. I’ve learned how my own wounds are activated by her behavior, and how to work past that.
I believe that being involved in ATN has changed/healed me at least as much as it has helped my daughter. Through ATN, I’ve learned that I am far from alone; that many people who are raising children with trauma feel exactly as I do, and have the same challenges. We can laugh together, share strategy, commiserate together, and keep reminding each other that we are great parents, and doing the best we can at any given moment…and so are our children. Together, we are committed to raising awareness about the effects of trauma on individuals and society, and to offer alternate ways of working with these wounded people. We also work to raise public awareness, which leads to understanding and ultimately to action and social change.
I believe in ATN because ATN believes in hope and healing…together!
