Lessons Learned – Relationships over Things
By: Craig Peterson
Craig Peterson’s ChildrenI had the best of intentions. I never would have imagined my misstep – the precedent I was setting. After all, I was simply trying to be kind to my two newest sons.
They came to me after a decade of extreme neglect and severe abuse at the hands of their birthmother’s boyfriend. Both endured more than 20 out-of-home placements after being stuck in the revolving door of family reunification.
A Meaning Behind the Suffering
November 13, 2014 By: Marc Deprey It is always hard to find meaning when under a stream of unrelenting suffering. The tragedy of early trauma, the resulting pain, and the stress, the strong feeling that some great potential is being lost—all this characterizes the experience of a parent of children of trauma. I certainly feel […]
Orange is the New Black
by: Melissa Sadin
Orange is the New BlackEvery few years, the fashion industry announces a new color that for a time becomes as popular as black. The first time I heard this phrase it was red. Red was the new black. I bought some red and am now more comfortable wearing red than I used to be. The most recent new black was orange. I’m still getting used to it, but I am becoming more comfortable wearing orange.
Trauma is the new black in childhood developmental disorders. Those of us who have been “wearing” trauma are already comfortable with it. We understand the strengths and limitations. We are, however, waiting for it to catch on. There are still many who don’t quite know what to do with it.
Toolbox Tuesday: Bath Time Can be a Great Way to Build Attachment
by: Linda Forsythe
Mother and DaughterWhen my daughter came to live with me as an eight year old, she was not a happy camper. She wanted to stay with her foster mother, the fifth foster parent of five years in foster care. She was not impressed with another move, nor with the idea of adoption by me. We didn’t have much of a honeymoon before the troubles began. It was rocky! After about nine months of daily battles about almost everything, we were close to terminating the plan to adopt her and her biological brother.
Support ATN and Simplify Your Holidays
November 10, 2014 by: Julie Beem Food. It’s an important part of life and an important part of family. With Thanksgiving just days away, many of us are already thinking about food for that special day. Do we roast, smoke or deep fry the turkey? Mashed potatoes or sweet potatoes? Who’s bringing the green beans? […]
Lessons Learned – Entitled and Detached
By: Craig Peterson
Boys with GiftsSince my two sons hadn’t been diagnosed with Reactive Attachment Disorder when they were adopted at nine and ten, I didn’t know to look for control.
What I did see was their sense of entitlement.
That Mom Could Be Me
November 6, 2014 by: Gari Lister Tuesday morning I checked Facebook and saw a post that made me start to cry before I even finished reading it. A “critical” missing person in my neighborhood — a teenage girl. The police notice originally mentioned a history of childhood abuse, and noted that a suicide note had […]
WARNING: DO NOT RIDE THE ROLLER COASTER
By: Deborah Novo
It has been fifteen years that I have been “in the trenches” with two sons with Reactive Attachment Disorder. I have had so many moments feeling inspired and motivated to be an awesome therapeutic parent only to be plunged into the mindset of ” I can’t take it anymore.”
Thoughts from the Board: Nancy Spoolstra
by: Nancy Spoolstra, Founder
I nNancy Spoolstraever cease to be amazed at where, how and when conversations arise about kids with attachment or trauma issues. I seem to be going through business cards lately at a pretty good clip.
Lessons Learned — Less Chores, More Backgammon
by: Craig Peterson
My oldest son hated chores. Even the mention of the word set him off!
IMG_1235[1]No wonder. Before being adopted, he was regularly told to not only watch his five younger siblings but also clean the family apartment.
Although he tried – and he did try — his step-father was never pleased with his effort and used the opportunity to beat him before taking his anger out on my son’s mother.