Neediness: An Unintended Consequence of Shame
–by Janyne A. McConnaughey, Ph.D. originally published June 21, 2017 on Janyne’s blog I stood in the doorway. I was very small, maybe two. I was sucking on my two middle fingers and watching my mother in the kitchen. I was forbidden from entering. Then I did the unthinkable. I stepped over the imaginary line and […]
The Fine Art of Consequences – Part II
–by Julie Beem In my last post, I wrote about a mom in search of an appropriate consequence for her daughter’s misbehavior at school. I suggested that an at-home consequence (taking away Wednesday night church activities) for an in-school behavior might not be the best approach, in part because children with brains affected by trauma […]
Spring is in the Air
–by Lorraine Fuller If you live in a house with trauma, you know that not all seasons are created equal. Most kids do better with a regular routine, but especially special needs kids. As parents of those special kiddos, we learn how to tiptoe around holidays and traditions. We often clash with relatives, neighbors or teachers […]
It’s Just Like Mother’s Day
–by Julie Beem There’s a phrase my daughter spits out in anger and rage. One that does not contain obscenities or obvious threats, but still strikes fear in my heart. The phrase is, “It’s Just Like Mother’s Day!” She usually says this through gritted teeth in almost a growl-like tone with her face contorted. Even those […]
Parenting Trauma Requires a Major Expectation Overhaul…
Manager’s Note: Back in February, we published a guest post by “Emerging Mama” Monica. It was so popular that we decided to try another. Please visit Monica and see all the good things she has to say at http://emergingmama.com/, where you will find, among other things, the original version of the post that follows, which was […]
The 10 Most Common Myths about Attachment & Trauma
There is so much that society doesn’t understand about attachment and trauma. People don’t “get it” when it comes to how a child can be traumatized, how a child reacts to trauma, and how difficult it is to help a child heal from early childhood trauma. The importance of forming healthy attachments and what can impede attachment […]
Attachment, Regulation, Competency (ARC) Model
The Attachment, Regulation, Competency Model (ARC) is a framework for intervention with youth and families who have experienced multiple and/or prolonged traumatic stress developed by the Trauma Center at Justice Resource Institute (www.traumacenter.org), the institute founded by Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, expert in childhood trauma. ARC, developed by Kristine M. Kinniburgh and Margaret E. […]
What Works & What Doesn’t
Let’s start with what DOESN’T WORK…and why: Traditional Psychotherapies — i.e. talk therapies, don’t work with children with an Attachment Disorder or those with early childhood, (especially pre-verbal) trauma. Two reasons. First,traumatized children are not helped by talk therapy because of their inability to access (talk about) their actual trauma memories and the specific events and triggers. […]
The Dynamics of Disruption
By Nancy Spoolstra, DVM Although there are several possible explanations for why an individual, a couple, or a family chooses to add an unrelated child to their home, in today’s modern society it usually boils down to one basic principle—the desire to parent a child or another child. Perhaps some are motivated more by altruistic […]
Signs of Attachment
There are countless lists and checklists available from a variety of sources, many of which are linked at the bottom of this page. Generally speaking… Children who are considered “at risk” for Attachment Disorder: Children who have been abandoned Children who have been abused (physical, sexual or emotional) Children who have been neglected. Children who […]