You Don’t Know What You Don’t Know
“You don’t know what you don’t know” In my parent group for those whose children think differently, a favorite phrase is “you don’t know what you don’t know.” This phrase has come to reassure me as I look back over the years. I carried guilt that I could never do enough and worried that I […]
The Re-Set Process
It began at TSS In February 2021, I had the honor of moderating Dyane Carrere’s session, “A New Way to Respond to Challenging Behavior: The Re-Set Process” at ATN’s virtual Trauma-Sensitive Schools (TSS) conference. Carrere’s approach to and heart for children from hard places impressed me. So much so, in fact, that I ordered her […]
It’s a Pandemic…So Why is My Child So Calm?
Seriously…I don’t get it In the midst of the coronavirus pandemic, some parents have asked ATN, “Why is my child so well-behaved?” They are parenting a child impacted by early trauma, and their experience has been that change often heightens the child’s reactive behaviors (more anger, acting-out, raging, withdrawal, etc.) Yet some parents report that […]
When My Son Cries for His Birth Mom
My son’s behavior has been improving. It’s really quite incredible when I think about the progress he has made in such a short amount of time. There has been no hitting. No biting. No long-lasting rages. Very little swearing. Still. When my adopted child cries for his birth mom, my heart breaks. He’s constantly agitated, like […]
Dear Educator, Part II
Dear educator, In my first letter, I shared some things I didn’t know about kids with trauma. In this installment, I would like to share what some of what I have learned. Kids with trauma are just trying to survive Because his brain has been changed by trauma and he feels his very life might […]
Some Thoughts on Thoughts: The Power of Words
–by Whitney Norris [originally published on the Between You and Me blog of Little Rock Counseling on January 16, 2018. Welcome, Whitney, to the world of ATN!] Thoughts. The ever-present voice in our head that we often only pay much attention to when there’s a problem. Even then, we often hand the bulk of the blame to […]
Good Parents Can Have Kids Who Make Bad Choices
–by Sara Borgstede [originally published on the author’s own blog, The Holy Mess, on October 16, 2017] Good parents can have kids who make bad choices. There, I said it. There are plenty of good parents out there who have kids who make bad choices. I’m sure you know a few, and I do too. […]
The Problem With Yelling
–by Hilary Jacobs Hendel, LCSW, originally published on the author’s blog, September 14, 2017 “The problem with verbal abuse is there is no evidence,” Marta shared. She came for help with a long-standing depression. “What do you mean lack of evidence?” I asked her. “When people are physically or sexually abused it’s concrete and real. […]