The Greatest Christmas Gift

Plate of sugar cookies in the shape of stars and candy canes

A few years ago, my parents flew out from Wisconsin to visit for Christmas. Because they only make it out to California to see us twice a year, and we make it to Wisconsin to visit them even less, it was a pretty big deal. Holidays were hard When we adopted our daughter through foster […]

ACEs and Toxic Stress: How We Can Heal Children’s Brains

Brain lit up in purple

As a trauma and emotion-centered psychotherapist, I am relieved that children are now being screened for toxic stress. Thinking about mental health as a byproduct of a child’s environment is an important addition to current thinking on how to improve children’s wellbeing. Rushing to diagnose a child with a potentially stigmatizing label, incorrectly blaming “defective” […]

Three Things Parents Want Therapists To Do

Three Things Parents Want Therapists To Do

Last month, I shared three things that parents want therapists to know: Parents don’t know if they can trust therapists. Parents love their kids. Parents are juggling multiple responsibilities. I promised a follow-up, so here it is, three things parents want therapists to do. 1) Please listen to us. We know a lot about our […]

Mother’s Day. Beautiful and Complicated.

Mother's Day. Beautiful and Complicated.

–by Neeva Carter The moment I heard my children’s names, my world stood still. I was at work, standing in an empty room on the phone, listening to our social worker run through the highlights of their story. She was reluctant to tell me anything, having only agreed because the children’s social worker had begged, […]

Giving Up Mother’s Day

Flower petals in shape of heart with happy Mother's Day written in middle

There is a movement in recent years to do away with celebrating Mother’s Day. It’s a fair argument that Mother’s Day has become too commercialized. It’s also important to consider how Mother’s Day is achingly painful for so many of us: Those who have lost children. Those who have lost mothers. Those who have suffered abuse, […]

When Children with Mental Health Issues Are Violent

–by Sara Borgstede [originally published on the author’s own blog, The Holy Mess, on March 1, 2018.] Manager’s note: while many children who suffer from mental health issues never become violent, the tragic reality is, some do. A huge hug of gratitude for Sara for her courage in sharing one such story. Like most people […]

Residential Treatment: When Holding On Means Letting Go

–by Sara Borgstede This was originally posted on the author’s website, The Holy Mess – Balancing Faith, Family, and Fitness, on June 4, 2017. As we drive through the beautiful rolling hills of western New York, my husband reaches over to grasp my hand. I glance over and see a stream of tears run down his […]

ATN Angels: Cindy McMurry, MaryBeth Storrow, Jenny Dew, Susan Woodruff

In celebration of ATN’s 2016 Angels in Adoption award, we’re profiling ATN members who have helped ATN win the award — and who have themselves been Angels to families and children. by:  Toni Hoy While I parented two children of trauma, it never crossed my mind that my passion for helping them heal would lead […]

Adoptive Parents ARE Biological Parents

— By Julie Beem I had the incredible honor to interview Dr. Dan Siegel a couple of days ago in a webinar that will soon be released on ATN’s Learning Center. We did this in conjunction with Echo Parenting and Education from California. If you have not had the privilege to hear Dr. Siegel speak […]

Changing Rehoming Laws Isn’t the Answer

by:  Julie Beem What do the stories of Arkansas Rep. Harris and his wife, Torry Hansen (who returned her son to Russia in 2010), and the families in last year’s Reuters report on rehoming have in common? All were adoptive parents who found they could no longer safely parent their children in their homes. While […]