Tuesday Toolbox: Using Family Traditions to Bond over the Holidays
December 9, 2014 by: Gari Lister For many traumatized children, the holidays are stressful — changes in schedule and expectations, less physical activity and, of course, lots of close family time. Plus we parents inadvertently make things worse — as we stress about how to wrap all the presents, cook all the food and make […]
Facebook and Birth Family!
December 8, 2014 by: Deborah A. Novo I picked up the phone to hear my, then 18 year old son, say, “Mom, you will NEVER believe who I just found on facebook!” I found myself holding my breath as I instinctively knew to whom he was referring. The woman who gave birth to him and […]
Unselfie-ness
December 1, 2014 by: Julie Beem When ATN joined the #GivingTuesday campaign the idea of members posting their “selfie” photos that communicate why they support ATN really struck a cord. Not only because it is a simple, clever way to tell others about our work over social media. But mostly it was because I get […]
Warning Labels
November 20, 2014 By: Melissa Sadin I recently took my son, TS, on a mission trip with the church youth group. The group was to spend four days helping to prepare a camp in the NJ Pine Barrens for opening day. It was a challenge for my son because he does not do well with […]
The Cowardly Lion vs. The Courageous Lion….
By: Deborah A. Novo
“Doesn’t he know how good he has it? He has no clue how lucky he is to have all that he does. Why does he still sabotage everything he does? Why does he always have to learn the hard way? Why does he still lie, you can’t believe a word he says. It is time for him to grow up. Where is his loyalty? He doesn’t care about a damn thing. Why isn’t that Attachment Therapy working?
Lessons Learned – Relationships over Things
By: Craig Peterson
Craig Peterson’s ChildrenI had the best of intentions. I never would have imagined my misstep – the precedent I was setting. After all, I was simply trying to be kind to my two newest sons.
They came to me after a decade of extreme neglect and severe abuse at the hands of their birthmother’s boyfriend. Both endured more than 20 out-of-home placements after being stuck in the revolving door of family reunification.
A Meaning Behind the Suffering
November 13, 2014 By: Marc Deprey It is always hard to find meaning when under a stream of unrelenting suffering. The tragedy of early trauma, the resulting pain, and the stress, the strong feeling that some great potential is being lost—all this characterizes the experience of a parent of children of trauma. I certainly feel […]
Orange is the New Black
by: Melissa Sadin
Orange is the New BlackEvery few years, the fashion industry announces a new color that for a time becomes as popular as black. The first time I heard this phrase it was red. Red was the new black. I bought some red and am now more comfortable wearing red than I used to be. The most recent new black was orange. I’m still getting used to it, but I am becoming more comfortable wearing orange.
Trauma is the new black in childhood developmental disorders. Those of us who have been “wearing” trauma are already comfortable with it. We understand the strengths and limitations. We are, however, waiting for it to catch on. There are still many who don’t quite know what to do with it.
Lessons Learned – Entitled and Detached
By: Craig Peterson
Boys with GiftsSince my two sons hadn’t been diagnosed with Reactive Attachment Disorder when they were adopted at nine and ten, I didn’t know to look for control.
What I did see was their sense of entitlement.
WARNING: DO NOT RIDE THE ROLLER COASTER
By: Deborah Novo
It has been fifteen years that I have been “in the trenches” with two sons with Reactive Attachment Disorder. I have had so many moments feeling inspired and motivated to be an awesome therapeutic parent only to be plunged into the mindset of ” I can’t take it anymore.”