What ATN Means to Me
December 2, 2014 by: Jane Samuel One night in 2007 I slipped away leaving my youngest daughter – who was well into one of her daily tantrums – in the hands of my husband. Beyond despair I climbed the stairs to my bathroom on the third floor of our house where I hoped I couldn’t […]
What ATN Means to Me
December 2, 2014 by: Gari Lister In 2007, I thought I knew all about attachment. We had adopted an eleven year old from a Russian orphanage in 2002, and I had read everything I could get my hands on, so I was well versed in building attachment in older children. What I didn’t understand, though, […]
What ATN Means to Me: Miles to go Before “We” Sleep
December 2, 2014 by: Craig Peterson Perhaps poet Robert Frost knew something about trauma. No doubt, the images in “Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening” relate to our families: Whose woods these are I think I know. His house is in the village though. He will not see me stopping here To watch […]
Lessons Learned: Trauma Sensitive Teachers
By: Craig Peterson
The right teacher can make all the difference – for every student and especially those children healing from past trauma.
Boy with a Birthday CakeWhen my son Alex joined the family at the age of 10, he hadn’t been in a regular classroom since first grade. His behavior had been out of control, with anger filled rages getting the best of him. After grabbing a pair of scissors off a teacher’s desk and attempting to stab the principal in the neck, he spent a month in residential treatment. Upon his return to school, he was limited to two hours of instruction per day. A beefy ex-Marine stood guard.
Warning Labels
November 20, 2014 By: Melissa Sadin I recently took my son, TS, on a mission trip with the church youth group. The group was to spend four days helping to prepare a camp in the NJ Pine Barrens for opening day. It was a challenge for my son because he does not do well with […]
Lessons Learned – Relationships over Things
By: Craig Peterson
Craig Peterson’s ChildrenI had the best of intentions. I never would have imagined my misstep – the precedent I was setting. After all, I was simply trying to be kind to my two newest sons.
They came to me after a decade of extreme neglect and severe abuse at the hands of their birthmother’s boyfriend. Both endured more than 20 out-of-home placements after being stuck in the revolving door of family reunification.
Lessons Learned – Entitled and Detached
By: Craig Peterson
Boys with GiftsSince my two sons hadn’t been diagnosed with Reactive Attachment Disorder when they were adopted at nine and ten, I didn’t know to look for control.
What I did see was their sense of entitlement.
Lessons Learned — Less Chores, More Backgammon
by: Craig Peterson
My oldest son hated chores. Even the mention of the word set him off!
IMG_1235[1]No wonder. Before being adopted, he was regularly told to not only watch his five younger siblings but also clean the family apartment.
Although he tried – and he did try — his step-father was never pleased with his effort and used the opportunity to beat him before taking his anger out on my son’s mother.
Wearing a Mask
October 30, 2014 by: Kelly Killian As Halloween approaches and children begin to pick out costumes, they pick out a new “personality” to try on for a day. It makes me think of our kids. So often what you see is a mask that they are wearing for the occasion. It is not the true […]
Lessons Learned – Understand Attachment Even Before the Placement Begins
By: Craig Peterson
Two Little BoysAlex and Travis are biological siblings. In 2001, they needed a home. One was nine and the other ten.
I wanted to help. I felt called.
Since I had done well with my first four children – all diagnosed with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, I thought these two would be easier to parent. Both were high functioning and personable.